Scary Decisions

Making decisions isn’t always as easy as it may look. Okay, some are, but some of the bigger decisions can leave us undecided. What if we get it wrong? What if it upsets people, what if it doesn’t work out? The ‘what-if’s’ pile up and we walk away hoping someone else will decide for us.

So, what stops us from making important decisions?

FEAR

It’s the fear of getting it wrong, upsetting someone, failing, embarrassment, possibly even succeeding. It’s easier to opt for no change. We know what we are going to get, it’s familiar even though it may be painful staying put.

Have you ever found yourself too afraid to make a decision because of all the uncertainty that brings up?

Because making a decision cuts off all other possibilities and it means “commitment” to our choice. And when that “C” word comes up, we start to focus on the negative outcomes we might face. Our attention is drawn to the downside of that decision, rather than considering the positive results on offer. The prospect of adventure, growth, excitement, passion, creativity and freedom…all this stuff, gets pushed aside because they come with a tad too much uncertainty.

But not deciding is a decision in itself!

By not making a decision we immediate cut off all possibilities - negative and positive. We have decided to do nothing because it’s “comfortable” and requires no extra effort.

We are devoted to comfort. It’s safe, it's warm and cosy… It’s boring. Its uneventful. It stifles growth - and anything in nature not growing is dying (the ultimate cost).

So what is this indecision costing you?

At the end of your life, will you have regret because of a decision you didn’t make? Perhaps you didn’t decide to start that business, or to change that friend group, or shut that person out and invite that person in. And you did it all for the sake of perceived comfort.

We are afraid to be honest. Afraid to move on, because we don’t want to offend anyone or experience shame. So much so, the only person we are really offending is ourselves.

In fact, making the decision is the easy part. We do it in our heads all the time, but it’s following though that is more challenging. Taking the action is the hard bit, because you will probably get it wrong the first time. And this leads us to feel anxious, to feel fear.

Well, get it wrong! Because we learn and grow through experience. Experience is about making errors a lot of the time and then, finally, getting it right. Getting used to mistakes in order to gain the wisdom to succeed, reduces our anxiety. That wisdom helps us make better decisions in the future, so we can feel happier and continue to get more things right more consistently.

Being too scared to make a decision is like holding your breath. You can only hold your breath for so long before it truly hurts. Breathe. Make a choice and then feel free to change your mind…often. Keep breathing.